Strengthen Your Marriage

Since I write Romantic Suspense novels, I called ten couples I know and asked them a few simple questions about their marriages. The people’s ages were from twenty-four to eighty-three. Some were newlyweds, some have been married to one another for over fifty years, and two couples have had more than one spouse.

One of the survey questions was how do they keep their marriage strong. Here are a few of the answers I received.

  • “Not a day goes by that we don’t kiss good morning and good night.”
  • “Laughter. We laugh at each other’s funny comments or together at a wacky movie. Laughter binds our souls.”
  •  “We hold hands, hug, and kiss in public. You don’t have to be over-the-top with a public show of affection, but it’s nice to not hide your love.” penguins in love
  • “When one of us is taking a shower, the other will sneak in and then we lather each other with soap.”
  • “Sometimes our connection is no more than a look in the eye, but that look can create a spark that burns hot.”
  • “Whether we need to ask for forgiveness or give thanks, saying it out loud holds a lot of power.”
  • “It’s nice to know your spouse is thinking of you when they call or text to ask how your day is going.”
  • “We have cuddle time. That’s when I cuddle up in the crook of Gary’s shoulder. We talk or quietly hold one another. It’s very soothing and comforting.”
  • “You’re not joined at the hip. Pursue your own hobbies and interests.”
  • “We pray together. When you’re praying for each other, not yourself, you’re speaking from the heart.”

Connie Taxdal

What are some ways you strengthen your marriage? Please leave a comment below.

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Focus Your Relationship

direction signsIs your romance pulled in all directions?

A wise teacher once gave his young protégé a riddle to solve: “You possess a very powerful tool — one that is always with you. You can use this tool at any time to make decisions   more efficiently, to make interactions with others more rewarding and to find more joy in life.”

What is this amazing tool?

Focus – Paying focused attention to one — and only one — thing at a time can yield rich rewards, including decreased anxiety, more deeply satisfying personal interactions, and more joy in life.

You might think you’re saving time by planning what to make for dinner or catching up on news events while your partner talks to you about his or her day, but you’re robbing yourself, and your partner, of an opportunity for deeper connection and intimacy.

Paying focused attention takes practice, but it is a worthwhile skill, and one that is rewarding to hone.

My husband and I have been married since 1971. As newlyweds, we focused on each other, but when our careers advanced, our responsibilities increased, and our daughter’s activities grew, we lost that focus.

We realized midway in our marriage that we missed one another’s undivided attention. From that day on, every evening (a good time for parents is just after the kids go to bed) we stop what we’re doing and tune out all the distractions.

While cuddling in bed, we talk about whatever’s on our mind. We use this time for bonding – not arguing – that’s a rule. Sometimes it takes only five minutes, other times we talk longer.

When you focus on your partner, even for a short period each day, you’ll be amazed how much it will strengthen your relationship.

Please comment below on how you and your partner strengthen your relationship.

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