Focus Your Relationship

direction signsIs your romance pulled in all directions?

A wise teacher once gave his young protégé a riddle to solve: “You possess a very powerful tool — one that is always with you. You can use this tool at any time to make decisions   more efficiently, to make interactions with others more rewarding and to find more joy in life.”

What is this amazing tool?

Focus – Paying focused attention to one — and only one — thing at a time can yield rich rewards, including decreased anxiety, more deeply satisfying personal interactions, and more joy in life.

You might think you’re saving time by planning what to make for dinner or catching up on news events while your partner talks to you about his or her day, but you’re robbing yourself, and your partner, of an opportunity for deeper connection and intimacy.

Paying focused attention takes practice, but it is a worthwhile skill, and one that is rewarding to hone.

My husband and I have been married since 1971. As newlyweds, we focused on each other, but when our careers advanced, our responsibilities increased, and our daughter’s activities grew, we lost that focus.

We realized midway in our marriage that we missed one another’s undivided attention. From that day on, every evening (a good time for parents is just after the kids go to bed) we stop what we’re doing and tune out all the distractions.

While cuddling in bed, we talk about whatever’s on our mind. We use this time for bonding – not arguing – that’s a rule. Sometimes it takes only five minutes, other times we talk longer.

When you focus on your partner, even for a short period each day, you’ll be amazed how much it will strengthen your relationship.

Please comment below on how you and your partner strengthen your relationship.

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3 thoughts on “Focus Your Relationship

  1. One of the things we do is go for rides, often on Sunday afternoon. There’s no one there but us. Sometimes we’ll talk, sometimes sing along with oldies on the radio or listen to part of “Prairie Home Companion,” sometimes just admire the scenery while being with each other.


    • Hi James, thanks for your comment. It sounds like you and your partner take the time to focus on one another.
      My husband and I also go for drives. We call them our “road trips” although they usually don’t last more than an hour or so. It’s a nice way to relax with someone you cherish, isn’t it?


      • It is, indeed. Ours usually last an hour or two, though now that we no longer have kids at home they can stretch out if we decide on a whim to take a detour, stop at an antique store, or go for a dip in a river or lake (only in the summer, of course).


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